In Memorium

Like many of my peers, my grandparents served in the military.  A much bigger portion of my peers don't have immediate family member in the Armed Forces according to a recent PEW survey, which means that many of us might not understand the joys and tribulations of military life.

My dziadzia (Polish grandpa!) was a military policeman.   Here he doing guard duty.




I didn't know him when he served.  Heck, I barely knew him when I was a kid because he passed away then I was only seven.  However, there must've been something in the family blood because patriotism has always been fiery and possibly a little over the top.

Pictures on left circa 2001 serving as proof of love for the Red, White and Blue.
 
While none of my immediate family serves in the military, I had the unique experience last summer of dating an infantryman through basic training.  Through this, I befriended many women who were dating, engaged, or married to other men in Delta Co.  Even though my relationship with the soldier ended, I remained friends with many of these women.

Once training ended and stations were dolled out, my close friend found herself on the opposite side of the country from her, then boyfriend.  She was in the middle of grad school and he didn't really have a choice.  So, they did it the hard way and lived with the distance.  Now, they're married (Beautiful wedding!!) and he's currently deployed.  I've joined her in counting down to his return because I'd really like to finally meet the guy!

This weekend, thank our troops.  They make incredible sacrifices to protect and defend our country.

Don't forget their families and loved ones.  Going a month without a phone call from your husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend sounds impossible, but it's doable.  There are men and women dealing with this reality every day.  Give them some love, a hug if they're your friend.

My friend's getting a rain check on a glass of wine for when I see her next! 

Memorial Day is ultimately a day where we remember the fallen.  The men and women that come home to Dover Airforce Base, not their homes.  The pain of deployment is usually great, but having your loved one completely ripped from this world is something that doesn't ever go away.

The military affects each one of us.  Without them, the U.S. would have literally ceased to exist at some point in time.  Today isn't the day for politics.  It's a day that our nation should pause and remember the sacrifice that had to be made for us to share a drink with our family at a barbeque.  The sacrifice of one's own life.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

My Life for Your Fame

Sometimes, it's difficult to understand what Christians are called to do in today's age.  Being outspoken about our beliefs is often difficult.  Giving God the glory for our lives sometimes feels impossible because of the backlash we suspect will come from our social circles.  It's taken me quite some time (21 1/2 years!) to embrace this role. 


In January, I traveled to Atlanta, Georgia for Passion 2012.  It was a full four days of speakers, praise and worship music, and small groups.  Over the week, I shared in uplifting to God prayers for those entrapped in various forms of modern day slavery.  We praised God for our own blessings.  It was a beautiful week!

This is the group I went with!

While I've always loved praise and worship music, mostly thanks to my time with Faith Lutheran's many different ministries, the songs I felt drawn to were songs thanking God for saving me.  Songs like White Flag where we call on ourselves to surrender "all to You."    Or Lay Me Down where we declared "I lay me down, I'm not alone.  I belong to you alone."

These songs are important reminders that we are nothing without God's grace.  Christ is the one who has saved us from our own sinful humanity.  It wasn't until more recently that I began to notice that I was comfortable talking about this reality when I knew the group would be receptive to what I was saying.

Over the past couple months, I've noticed a shortcoming in my own faith.  In my moments of public joy, I failed to praise God with the same fervency when nonbelievers were present.  It was hard to be open about my reliance on a Savior when I feared the scorn of the "enlightened" minds of my professors, administration, and peers. 

Over the weekend, we had a Passion 2012 night at Faith.  They played the music that was key in my own spiritual transformation this year.  There was one line in Chris Tomlin's song No Turning Back that stuck with me for almost a whole week now:  "My life for Your fame."

"I'm not ashamed of the one who saved my soul,"  Kristian Stanfill sang in Not Ashamed.  The words hit me like bricks.  Here, I talked about how God has blessed me profusely, but I was worried about sharing it with other people.  I want to be like St. Paul in the letter to the Ephesians.  He didn't pray for deliverance from captivity, but that he would have the strength to continue sharing the Good News.

This realization is a new experience in my life.  I'm not usually shy about anything.  The change has been a gradual shift.  I've slowly become more open about my faith-journey in the past few months, sharing deep emotions with friends at my own church. However, sharing with my friends isn't enough.  Anything I become in my life will be by the grace of God.  From now on, I will give Him the glory and live my life for His fame.

Next time you see me, I might just be singing one of these Passion 2012 songs, praising God and not being ashamed. 


"Let what we do in here fill the streets out there.  Let us dance for You.  Let us dance for You."

Life Philosophies

There are two quotes that I quite enjoy when I'm reflecting on where I've come from and who has helped me get to where I am.

 Steve Jobs said, "Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life."

The first time I read this, I couldn't stop thinking about how true it was.  Four years ago, I was a high school graduate.  It's almost unimaginable to me now how different I was.  When I left for college, I planned on pursuing campaign management, which led me to majoring in political science and integrative public relations.   

There's is no way that as a fresh-faced 18-year old I could have fathomed the path college took me through.  It started with the Honors Program and went through incredible experiences from five months in Warsaw to internships in Ann Arbor and Washington DC.   

Unlike Jobs though, I don't trust my gut or karma as much as I do God.  The opportunities He has brought into my life are priceless.  Like Jobs, I can see how each event is interconnected.  In one of my interviews after the Fulbright scholarship, I mentioned how these things seem to have a domino effect.  But, anyone who's ever set up a row of dominoes knows that there is no way to know if the whole thing will fall until you push the first one.  As the old adage goes, hindsight is 20/20.  

The other quote I love comes from the conservative moment's beloved Ronald Reagan.   President Reagan said, " Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation. You will have opportunities beyond anything we've ever know." 


Looking back, the path has been clearly laid out.  God could not have taken better care of me.  He placed people into my life in key places to veer my path in one direction of another.  My friends and mentors have been instrumental in who I have become.  Through late night debates about religion and philosophy, my faith was challenged deeply.  Politics was made exciting through my mentors and friends.  I've been challenged to produce publishable research by professors.  These things all are intertwined in strengthening my mind and tweaking my life goals and philosophies to reflect completely my values.

While some of these mentors aren't members of a different generation, Reagan's sentiment holds true.  We build on what other people give us.  Some of my fellow interns have been great bouncing ideas off of as I prepared my grad school applications.  Other people have given me insight into my morals, my education, my career goals.  Each person gives me a little bit of their own advice and this builds upwards into a platform for me to stand on and confidently make my own decisions.


I cannot take full credit for the things I've accomplished.  The glory must first go to God for giving me the opportunities to pursue such things as the Fulbright and graduate school.  There are also an untold number of people who have helped me along the way to get where I am.  So I want to give a heartfelt thank you, from the bottom of my heart. 


Taken together, these two quotes sum up my basic life philosophy.  First, God will always provide.  Secondly, I cannot accomplish anything without the help of others.  I stand firm only because others have given me a solid platform.  Third, there is no way for me to comprehend where life is going to take me.  Instead, I take opportunities as they present themselves with the understanding that one day, the knowledge and experience will make sense as I look back.  No experience is useless; time precedes understanding. 

Customers, Cliches, and Kindness

(I realize the letters in the title are different, but they sound similar.  It works for me!)

Working as a cashier leads to many interesting experiences with customers.  Some just pass through, pretty much unnoticed.  Others, I remember.  It might be for extreme levels of attitude, such as the lady who returned all of her items because a cashier took too long.  Or, instead for a really funny comment like the guy who told me he didn't want to be female because we have to make the babies.  Or, like this sweet little girl who said I was pretty, did something beautiful and memorable. 

After a week, I think there are three customers that will stay with my memory for a while. One filled my heart to bursting.  One made me think.  One made me cry. 

A mother (about 80) came to the store with her adult son.  He couldn't walk because he just had reconstructive surgery and his mom had a problem with her memory.  They were looking at some rather expensive ($30) items by my register before they actually started shopping.  At one point, the son came over to me and asked if I could help him with something.  So when they came to my register, I rang up all her items.  Then, I turned and told her she could have one of the items in front of my register for free.  Her son kept her busy for a second while I added it to his total.    It was truly beautiful!  She was ecstatic and he was tickled pink that it had worked out.   I just smiled the rest of the day.

Most of you know that I smile frequently.  It's a pretty good skill to have at a job where I'm constantly interacting with people.  One gentleman commented "You look like the kind of person that never has a bad day."  To be honest, I had been in a really bad mood that day!  I didn't really want to be at work again and the smile was not the most genuine.  I kind of laughed his comment off at first and replied that I do have bad days, I just ignore it.  On his way out, he told me that the only thing that matters is perspective and I'll have a much better life if I keep on smiling.

 The last customer I will remember was an older woman.  She was asking about different angel statues we have.  When I handed her the one she was looking at, I found out that she was making an arrangement for her best friend's granddaughter's funeral.  The 16 year old girl had committed suicide a few days before this.  We talked for a few minutes and she was hurting so deeply, not for herself, but for this young girl's family.  I told her about To Write Love on Her Arms and the work they do to help support teens in this situation.  When she came through my checkout line, I promised to pray for the 16 year old girl and her entire family.  With Mother's Day yesterday, I can't imagine how difficult the funeral was today.  If you have a spare moment today, please send up a small prayer for the girl's soul and the peace of mind in her family.

Finding Families

I find the greatest joys in my family.  Unfortunately, my life has taken me further and further away from them physically.  While I was at CMU, I was almost three hours away and weekends often were spent at various conferences and participating fully in my organizations through volunteer projects and socials.

Very few weekends were reserved for returning home.  Luckily, I have Skype and was able to talk with my mom almost every day via texting or phone calls.

Talking with family though is way different than actually BEING with one.  There weren't many families in my life for the first three years of college.  I really missed being around kids and having "adults" to talk to.

There's something special about a mom's hug...even if it isn't your own mom.

Lucky for me...this past year, I found myself "adopted" by not one, but TWO families!  They were both families from my university parish.  Both sets of parents homeschooled their kids.  So visiting with them took me back to my childhood.  I was able to help the moms with their homeschool curriculum and chat with very intelligent kids.

For one family, I became a Polish teacher.  I'd show up once a week and spend about an hour with the two oldest girls.  Instead of paying me, I stayed for dinner most days.  Family dinners are one thing I sorely miss.  This was much better than getting money!  My last dinner there, the younger girl told me I had become one of the family's friends.  That is truly rewarding.

The other family visited our church frequently and I often chatted with the mom on Facebook.  When they showed up at church, I got the baby.  They hosted our end of the year party and let us keep the kids up SUPER late...

While our friendships might have been built differently, both families provided me a great example for what I want my family to be like one day.  The kids are smart and well-mannered.  Although sometimes they might be a little crazy, what family isn't? 

Beyond the great example of family, they were all a tremendous example of faith.  It makes sense since the majority of our time was at St. Mary's!  I loved being able to sit in the middle of a Catholic family again during Mass.  It helped on the days that I felt lonely or overwhelmed.

Unfortunately, being so close with them means that I will miss them just as much as my college friends, maybe more.  Luckily, they will probably stay in the Mt. Pleasant area unlike most of my friends so I will be able to visit easier.

Praise God for the blessings of families. 

Chippewa Pride

CM-Life published this piece last week.  I hope alumni can relate and students can be inspired.  CMU is a fantastic community of scholars, if you put in the effort to make it such.   Good luck to my fellow 2012 graduates!  Make the Chippewa community proud!!



As I have reflected on my recent Fulbright award, there is one thing I wish every student at CMU felt about their education---pride.

Over the last four years, I’ve been quick to diminish the goodness of a Central Michigan education.   Mistakenly, I assumed Chippewas weren’t competitive for top graduate programs or national scholarship programs.

Here I am, now a recipient of a prestigious fellowship and heading to a graduate program ranked 2^nd in the country for my field.  As a freshman, I would have said you were crazy if you told me it’d be me on the front page of CMU’s website.

Students here have the potential to achieve greatness.  We are competitive against students from University of Michigan and Michigan State, even against Ivy League students.  

Personally, the Fulbright means a lot. Poland has always been a large part of my life and I hope to continue incorporating it into my career.  I have worked incredibly hard in my classes, research, internships, and extracurriculars to achieve this. 

However, I think this award serves a bigger purpose.   I want it to be an inspiration to any student who doesn’t think they are competitive. 

I hope it convinces you that your degree can mean as much from CMU as it does from anywhere else.  Central Michigan is not a second class university.  It is a place where learning can and does thrive.

Education is a personal journey.  So I can’t give you a magic formula for success, but find your passion.  Pursue it.   Do research.  Find internships.  Work hard.  Get involved.  

Find confidence in your abilities.  Own your education and your success.   Seek out advice from professors. 

 Above all, be proud to be a Chippewa.

I Am Not Normal

I'll give you a few minutes to let that statement sink in.  Go ahead, laugh.  Get it out of your system.  I have finally admitted what people have been telling me my whole life.  I am not normal.


The past semester has been about coming to terms with who I am and accepting that it might not be totally normal.  It's been a struggle for me over the years.  My interests and passions make me unique.  I have always noticed how people who embrace their differences and remain confident in the "abnormalcy" thrived, but I have never connected it to myself.  I have always striven to just be normal.


My quest for normalcy probably stems first and foremost from being home schooled.  At the time, home schoolers represented about 1-3% of school-aged children.  At times, it was difficult being different.  However, I had a good case for being normal...graduation, prom, softball, even a class ring.

To be honest, the ONLY reason I had my parents buy a class ring...was to show the world that "normal" home schoolers did exist.

Nope. Not normal.

So I guess it's time to embrace my abnormalcy, because my life is just that, mine.  I have never been happier.

If politics isn't your favorite subject, I'm sorry...but it's one of mine.  I WILL watch election coverage 24/7 on election day.  Normal?  Not really when you consider almost half of Americans don't even make it to the polling places.

Maybe it's strange to the secular academic world that I pray daily and hold the teachings of the Catholic faith in highest regards.  That's okay.  I've accepted that I'm not normal.  I will continuously ask God to guide me in my pursuits and lead me where ever HE wants me to be.

I probably talk too much, laugh too loud, think too much, and dress a little strange at times.  It doesn't matter because I am me.  College has given me friends who accept me for all of the above.

People who love you don't really care if you're strange.  In fact, my closest friends have told me time and again that I'm not normal.  I just finally trusted them enough to believe them.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."  -Dr. Seuss