It's been a while since I've had time or energy to write for my own personal edification, grad school is hard. Some of life's events though have caused me to ponder hard the fragility of life and how people come into ours, change us, and exit again.
Anyone who knows well me knows that I am emotional and sentimental. I value relationships, friends, memories. My walls are usually covered in pictures. My family is of utmost importance and I consider most of my friends family.
One things I've been blessed with is the ability to see how people change me. I can name people that I haven't talked to in fifteen years who had an impact on my life. Thus the loss of friends, no matter the reason, hits me hard.
Over the past year and a half, two very influential people in my life have been fighting cancer. To say it weighs heavily on my heart would be an understatement. I pray constantly for their healing, physically and spiritually.
The crazy thing is though, in the midst of the suffering, both of them have ministered to my own soul. They have forced me to evaluate how I treat my friends and family, to reconsider the gift of life.
Today, I was talking to my mom. I'm struggling with letting go of my desire to keep these people in my life and giving God the final say. Selfishly to some extent, I pray for their healing. These are people I know for a fact have changed my life positively by being a role model, a spiritual counselor, and probably praying for the conversion of my faith more than I ever realized. I know the impact that they have had on the world so why wouldn't I want them to stay in the world?
My mom's answer was simple. We have to remember that no matter the love in our hearts for an individual, "ultimately they were His first." It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Our lives were made by, for, and through Him. It's for His glory and ultimately to get to Heaven that we exist. I may not understand His plan or like it right now, but for the glory of God, I will continue to pray for understanding and peace in my heart.
Earthly life only has one end, but Christ promises us eternity, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?" (John 11:25-26)
Knowing this doesn't make the sadness of their suffering easier, but it reminds me that one day, I'll be reunited with those that left the earth before me. Hopefully starting with my friend Brent who died when I was only 11. He's one of those persons who I'll never forget because he was one of the first real friends I had. It's only through death that we'll be reunited though.
Life is short, and it's something I've been reminded of from a very young age. It's important to invest in these kinds of relationships, the ones where you know someone so well that their absence leaves a hole in your heart because that hole means that you were changed by them. The hard part is allowing God to fill that hole, to heal it, to not become bitter or angry.
Approaching death from a Christian standpoint leads me to believe that death isn't really death at all. As Scripture tells us, one day we will say "O death where is your victory? Oh death where is your sting?"
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| All the pictures I took to Poland for decorative purposes |
One things I've been blessed with is the ability to see how people change me. I can name people that I haven't talked to in fifteen years who had an impact on my life. Thus the loss of friends, no matter the reason, hits me hard.
Over the past year and a half, two very influential people in my life have been fighting cancer. To say it weighs heavily on my heart would be an understatement. I pray constantly for their healing, physically and spiritually.
The crazy thing is though, in the midst of the suffering, both of them have ministered to my own soul. They have forced me to evaluate how I treat my friends and family, to reconsider the gift of life.
Today, I was talking to my mom. I'm struggling with letting go of my desire to keep these people in my life and giving God the final say. Selfishly to some extent, I pray for their healing. These are people I know for a fact have changed my life positively by being a role model, a spiritual counselor, and probably praying for the conversion of my faith more than I ever realized. I know the impact that they have had on the world so why wouldn't I want them to stay in the world?
My mom's answer was simple. We have to remember that no matter the love in our hearts for an individual, "ultimately they were His first." It hit me like a ton of bricks.
Our lives were made by, for, and through Him. It's for His glory and ultimately to get to Heaven that we exist. I may not understand His plan or like it right now, but for the glory of God, I will continue to pray for understanding and peace in my heart.
Earthly life only has one end, but Christ promises us eternity, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?" (John 11:25-26)
Knowing this doesn't make the sadness of their suffering easier, but it reminds me that one day, I'll be reunited with those that left the earth before me. Hopefully starting with my friend Brent who died when I was only 11. He's one of those persons who I'll never forget because he was one of the first real friends I had. It's only through death that we'll be reunited though.
Life is short, and it's something I've been reminded of from a very young age. It's important to invest in these kinds of relationships, the ones where you know someone so well that their absence leaves a hole in your heart because that hole means that you were changed by them. The hard part is allowing God to fill that hole, to heal it, to not become bitter or angry.
Approaching death from a Christian standpoint leads me to believe that death isn't really death at all. As Scripture tells us, one day we will say "O death where is your victory? Oh death where is your sting?"
1 Corinthians 15:51-54
But let me reveal to you a wonderful secret. We will not all die, but we will all be transformed! It will happen in a moment, in the blink of an eye, when the last trumpet is blown. For when the trumpet sounds, those who have died will be raised to live forever. And we who are living will also be transformed. For our dying bodies must be transformed into bodies that will never die; our mortal bodies must be transformed into immortal bodies.
Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:
"Death is swallowed up in victory."
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