The Double-Edged Sword of Being Abroad

In some moments, the excitement to graduate is overwhelming.  The next moment I'm in tears about leaving my home for the past four years.  Asking me if I'm excited for graduation is a dangerous task because who knows which emotion is going through my head at the time.

People think I'm crazy if I say I'm not entirely excited about graduation.  "But you're going to POLAND!" They remind me.  Don't worry, I haven't forgotten I'm leaving the country for a year.

Being abroad adds an entirely different dimension to this graduation thing.  "Normal" graduates can come back and visit at least once or twice.  Their time zones are usually within an hour of here.  Cell phones and texting work, and don't cost an arm and a leg.

Having studied abroad for five months already, I think I have a pretty good grasp of what I'm in for.  Yes, Poland is amazing and I'm INCREDIBLY excited.  But it's also one of the most difficult experiences some days because when I'm over there, life goes on here.   I missed weddings, funerals, graduation parties, recitals.

The hardest week over in Poland started the day after Palm Sunday when my mom called me in tears because her big brother had very unexpectedly passed away.  There really was no question if I was going to fly home or not; it was too expensive. I had to deal with his death without my family and with friends I had known merely two months.  It was incredibly difficult.

Looking forward to the next year, I know I'm going to miss some incredible times with my family, who I love dearly.  I won't be able to visit my friends, who have become part of my family.  Yes, there's Skype, but the six hour time difference means I'm eating dinner during their lunch breaks.   The time difference makes planning conversations a lot harder than you would think.  Unfortunately, I'm going to miss one of my best friends, more like a brother after four years, get married to another really awesome friend.

There's no question whether I'm going to Poland, but some days, I can afford to be not excited about it.  The stress of living in a different country is unmatched in the U.S. because, like I said in my CM-Life article, even not having an umbrella on a rainy day can throw you off big time if you don't know the word in Polish.